#4: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

As we enter the New year we’re faced with a bunch of people striving to be a “New Me”. There’s nothing practically wrong with using the new year as a reset button for our goals but what I do find to be a problem is the collective pressure that we’ve begun putting on ourselves and each other. The 31st of December rolls around and allova sudden people start frantically creating ambitious lists of things they want to accomplish or change for the upcoming year. Why is that? Why must we ALL make resolutions and set goals at the same time every year?

I’m convinced that most of us get “inspired” by everyone else around us to make moves once January 1st comes around. We might look at other people’s journey and accomplishments(with the help of social media) and compare where we are now to where they are are portraying to be.

First of all, “Comparison is the thief of Joy”. Besides robbing you of your joy, it also steals your contentment, your gratitude, your faith and your self-confidence. You’re scrolling through instagram or skipping through snapchats and you see such and such going back to the gym, someone else meal-prepping with vegan food, and someone else chatting about how they’re going to be more financially responsible all year long. So then you think to yourself “Woah, and what am I doing?” Perhaps not knowing the answer makes you susceptible to wanting to do something too. So you start losing your mind trying to look up “at-home workouts” or vegan recipes or budgeting tips. But all these initiatives you’re making would be great if they were yours to make in the first place.

Here’s the thing, when we start frantically trying to achieve something without much direction or justification, it typically results in failure. We weren’t actually ready or willing to stop BSing and start being serious about our goals. That’s when we enter this vicious cycle of making “New Year, New Me Resolutions” Every. Single. Year. Not to mention these are based mainly on other people’s perceived lives. We don’t actually have a clue about what preparations they did to get where they are.

Lately, I’ve been taking some much needed time myself to really reflect on where I am currently. See I’ve been victim to setting these ambitious goals before. Story of my life. When I saw other people doing things, I would be determined to do them too and sometimes I would accomplish them (without feeling fulfilled) and other times I would fail, miserably.

This year, I was very careful to NOT do that. I didn’t want that feeling of defeat that comes with comparing myself to other people. I didn’t want to look at my life/situation and discredit my own progress thus far. I definitely didn’t want that lack of self-confidence to cripple me from making better moves in the future either. So instead, I just stopped trying to move and stood still for a minute or two. I stopped trying to make moves, and started to seek a clearer understanding of what my challenges are at the moment. I stopped trying to make these arbitrary plans and timelines (even when people would pressure me to) and started to figure out what I could/should do to address my challenges accordingly. I stopped lowkey hating, and started to show more outward love to my brothers and sisters for the moves that they were making instead! I stopped overwhelming myself with fear and worry and tried to have a little more faith that my moment would come if I just focused positively on myself.

It’s really not easy to avoid comparing yourself to others, especially since we use relativity as a form of measurement. But when you understand how detrimental it can be you might want to be cautious and not allow it to take over your mindset. It can cloud your judgement and is just overall a mood killer. And no one needs allathat negativity in their life… cuz we left that in 2016.

So before you go crazy with the 2018 resolutions, think to yourself, is this something I am really ready and willing to do or accomplish? Am I being realistic with this one? If the answer isn’t certain, then don’t make a move.